'The Real World' has chosen to mark its 25th season in the sinningest of cities -- Las Vegas.
Nearly a decade after the first go-round in Sin City, though, the latest 'Real World' installment doesn't really seem all that scandalous.
Sure, the cast is young, tan, beautiful, reality-TV savvy and, most of all, drunk. But in a post-'Jersey Shore' world, is that enough anymore?
The cast is predictably diverse, chock full of small-town girls, country bumpkins and street-smart PYTs. Honestly, this first episode seems specifically designed to air clips of the castmates making bold statements like "I will not go to a strip club" and " I don't want to hook up with my roommates" simply to foreshadow the fact that those things will inevitably happen at some point during the season.
The house, as always, looks like the most glorious Ikea showroom ever, only with working fixtures and a puzzlingly large amount of aquariums.
First impressions-wise, the roommates don't seem terribly interesting.
• Naomi was introduced as the requisite hardened city girl, but she seems relatively sweet and quiet during this episode and in the scenes from the rest of the season. At the very least, she seems like a good ally for Nany (or, conversely, an enabler rooting for Nany to cheat on her boyfriend).
• Speaking of Nany, the drop-dead gorgeous community college student is pretty much the spitting image of Daniella Alonso, amIrite? She has a boyfriend of six years, so the logical question is how long until she cheats with Adam?
• Adam was shot and spent three years in juvy. He is a bad boy, yet insists on telling girls that he's shy and has no game while slyly admitting in the confessional that he usually has seven girlfriends at a time.
After the first roommate night out, Adam told Nany that it was the first time he picked up a girl from a bar. Coincidentally, last night was the first night I wasted three hours watching meaningless reality television instead of doing something intellectually stimulating like reading a book. Oh wait, NEITHER OF THOSE THINGS ARE EVEN REMOTELY TRUE.
• Dustin seems like the aw shucks country boy of the group, yet is hiding a secret from his roommates -- he is straight, but has done gay porn. Ronnie-style, he insisted he didn't want to date a roommate yet ended up hooking up with Heather in what appears to be a by-the-books showmance. Of course this happened.
• Heather is from a town near my hometown in South Jersey, so I can't tell if I am predisposed to love or hate her. She seems nice, so I'm going to go with "love" until further notice.
• Leroy is kind of intimidating. He has a really deep voice, and personally I find it really difficult to look into the eyes of a person with abs that chiseled. He appears to love the ladies, and the ladies appear to love him back. They at least seem pleased with the opportunity to do laundry on his stomach.
Side note: He is a trash man in real life! That is the best, most un-glamorous job ever.
• Finally, we have Michael. Michael, Michael, Michael. He's the innocent Christian of the season, who only lost his virginity a few months ago and tries to woo trashy chicks he brings back from the club with prayer. I can't decide whether he's adorable or creepily naieve. I'm leaning toward adorable, but I can't help but feel a little secondhand embarrassment watching him try to keep up with the cool kids he's rooming with.
The premiere episode antics might've been shocking at one point in time, but seeing attractive people party and bring randoms home to their sweet-ass suite is old hat by now. Plus, you really know what you're getting into when you realize that these are the types of people who wear their sunglasses at night. Also, Leroy and Adam both participated in (separate) three-way kisses. Is that still a thing? I guess only on MTV reality shows.
However, Dustin's "I want you to make mistakes so you can learn from them" speech to Michael was the most oddly convincing argument for sin that I've ever heard. Sign me up!
But, really, I already watch one show about twentysomethings hooking up in nightclubs and then hooking up later in hot tubs. Do I really need another? 'Real World Las Vegas' round two is at least better than the snooze-fest of 'DC,' but they've got to throw some sort of plot device in the mix to keep me tuning in.
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